Intercultural Relationships

When I think of my intercultural relationships, one relationship comes to mind the most. My fraternity brother Jonathan Bucyana. Jonathan was born in Rwanda, and moved to the United States for school three years ago, when he was 17 years old. Jonathan has a heavy accent, and has very dark skin. I have a Minnesotan accent, and very light skin. Jonathan and I have a very strong connection with each other as friends, and as fraternity brothers.


There are a lot of benefits that I have gained from being friends with Jonathan. I've learned a lot about Rwandan culture. Jonathan teaches me about their religious views over there. He's told me a lot about the traditional cuisines that they serve in Africa. He speaks French, Swahili, English, and Kinyarwanda. He's taught me how to say a few phrases in all of these languages (especially English).


Along with all of the benefits, there are a few challenges. My dad is somebody who I could call "old fashioned" and he got that from his dad, and his dad from his dad. In other words, my dad can be a bit racist at times. He thinks that because I'm friends with a black kid that I'm going to drop out of college and the whole world will end. Even though Johnathan is one of the nicest kids that I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, people will still be stuck in a racist mindset at times. I'm not saying that everybody is racist, but I am telling you that not everybody isn't.


When talking about Baxter's dialectics Cultural-Individual comes to mind. Though Jonathan wants to "Americanize" himself, and be "part of the team," there are certain things that he still wants to stand out about his African side. For instance, he will never admit that he likes any American foods, but he eats it all the time. Sort of like an athlete wants to be a team player, but also wants his individual skills to stand out over the others. Jonathan wants to be part of the American team, but there are certain aspects that he will not let go of from Africa because he thinks they are superior.

Another dialectic that comes to mind is Static-Dynamic. This one more relates to Jonathan that he and I. Jonathan's relationships are changing with all of his friends back home, because the longer he stays in America, the longer he has to change as a person. His relationships will be effected by how he's been affected.

Instrumentality and Affection is another one that relates to Jonathan. His family is back in Rwanda, and he wants to stay connected with them, but it's hard for him to because of long-distances fees, and travel expenses. It's a lot better for him to stay here for school and to get his education here, but he misses his family ties back home, which is classic Instrumentality and Affection.

The last dialectic that I'll be talking about is the Privilege-Disadvantage. Our book mentions a scenario where a student named Laura is bilingual and feels more comfortable when multiple languages are being spoken, and her friends feel more comfortable when just English is being spoken. The same can be said about Jonathan, because he is very bilingual. Also, when it comes to "privileges", well, let me rewind a bit. Our fraternity has designated drivers on the weekends for obvious reasons. Jonathan wants to be able to help out, but this just isn't his strong suit, because he doesn't have a driver's license.

It was a bit hard for me to see these dialectics happening in my own intercultural relationships, but now that I think about it, they're constantly happening whether I realize it or not.