CAPS 6 - Relationships

         Intercultural relationships are ever present in each of our lives. Through understanding the process and variables with relationships, we can analyze how we adjust with differences like age, gender, and race. These relationships can have a variety of benefits and challenges, and our book explains “the key to these relationships often involves maintaining a balance between differences and similarities” (Martin & Nakayama, 2012). This balance is important to keep close relationships with the people you care about. An intercultural relationship that I am closely involved with is my relationship with my Aunt Stacey. All though she is not “technically” my aunt, she has been associated as one with my since I first became close with their family nearly 15 years ago.

                Three of my best friends as I transitioned through my youth had a common connection – all cousins. I became close with each of their families and now am treated as a part of their ever growing family. Aunt Stacey has treated me as a son/nephew from the beginning, by helping me with projects, taking part in their holiday get-togethers, and going on camping trips. Now, as I return home from college, I still make a point each time to spend a day with her and keep close with her four younger children. There are two cultural differences to touch on for our relationship. Obviously, one cultural difference that shows up is our age.  The second one is race, as she and the entire family is Native American.

                I am constantly communicating with my Aunt on a variety of levels. Having a difference in age is one key part of the variety of communications. Our communication is based at times outside of the work day, it is lacking on the social media side, and is focused through phone calls. This is a clear difference to friends in my same generation. I mostly communicate through texting and Twitter with my college friends so this causes a barrier in my relationship with my Aunt. Having such a busy schedule, it is challenging to keep in contact through phone calls. When communicating in person, it is easier to relate and the challenges are limited. A major benefit with her age is she understands situations and has experience with quite a bit of life.

                My Aunts family is Native American, so their culture is highly brought into our relationship. I have gained appreciation and understanding of their family and past. This has mainly been a benefit of this relationship because I was able to understand her differences and we both have an appreciation for multiple cultures. My Aunt has a strong connection with her heritage and is very proud of it.

                The differences-similarities dialectic relates to the concept that we tend to be attracted to people who are similar to ourselves (Martin & Nakayama, 2012). This concept falls into place with all kinds of relationships and really clicks when seeing how our relationship started. I became close with her family because of our similarities – easy-going and love spending time with friends and family. My similarities with their family brought me close to each of them, and made this connection with my Aunt. Another dialect that sticks out is the cultural-individualistic dialectic. Aunt Stacey’s family is very large with 7 brothers and sisters, all with a large amount of children and grandchildren. With their Native American culture, they are all very similar with their beliefs and family customs. They are very close to each other and make it clear that family comes first. Then, looking on the individualistic side, I see the differences in the family members. Some care about their education, some are rushing into growing their family, and others are sticking close to Indian events and ideals. I have learned through each family member and Stacey that cultural does vary on many levels. Each person can be in a group with other, for instance their family, but then have their own traits as well.

Sources

Martin & Nakayama, 2012. Intercultural Communication in Contexts Sixth Edition.